Of all the books I’ve read so far, this one holds the most wisdom with practical applications in everyday life. If there was one book that could be added to any curriculum at school it should be this one. The Four Agreements is a powerful code of conduct full of common sense advice. It teaches 4 extremely valuable lessons to guide you in life. If you haven’t read it yet, you should! This article will give you an idea of what it talks about.
“Life is very, very simple and easy to understand, but we complicate it with the beliefs and ideas that we create.” Don Miguel Ruiz.
The first agreement is: “Be impeccable with your words”.
We need to realize that there is power in our words. The power to create. It is a gift from God. Our words can create something beautiful or it can destroy everything around us. To be impeccable with our words is to create only beauty, love and heaven on earth. Your intent is manifested through the word. What you dream, what you feel, who you really are, are all manifested through the word. Have faith in your words. The power of your words will become even stronger.
To be impeccable with our words means to replace fear with love. Our mind is fertile ground for any thought we wish to create. When we are impeccable with our words, our mind is only fertile for the words that come from love. We can express that love through our words and interactions with others.
Most importantly, being impeccable with your words is to say only what you mean. Speak with integrity. Be honest. Avoid gossip or speaking against someone or yourself. Avoid criticism and judgement. Only use your words in the direction of truth and love. Only believe in the truth. Only the truth can set you free.
Being impeccable with your words is to take responsibility for them without judgment or blame.
Impeccability of the word leads to personal freedom, success and abundance.
The second agreement is: “Don’t take anything personally”.
“You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you.” Don Miguel Ruiz.
Many offences in life come from this premise. The moment you refuse to take things personally, you will avoid many upsets in your life. You will then gain a huge amount of freedom. And if you live without fear, if you love, you will be happy with your life.
Be immune to others’ opinions. Release suffering from giving too much importance to others opinions. What others say, do, think or feel is a projection of their own reality. When you don’t take it personally, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Whatever people think about you is not about you, but it is about them. Others have opinions according to their own belief system. See other people as they are, without taking it personally. Then you can’t be hurt by them.
“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.” Don Miguel Ruiz.
Don’t take whatever you hear in your own mind personally. Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true.
Taking things personally is assuming that everything is about us. That is the expression of selfishness.
The third agreement is: “Don’t make assumptions”.
Speak openly and honestly so you won’t have to make assumptions. When you stop making assumptions, you communicate clearly. You will also achieve impeccability with your word.
“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.” Don Miguel Ruiz.
Learn to ask questions instead of making assumptions. Ask questions until you are as clear as possible. Once you have the answer to a question, you don’t have to make assumptions because you know the truth.
Often assumptions are made so fast and unconsciously because we have agreements to communicate this way. We have agreed that it is not safe to ask questions. We have agreed that if people love us, they should know what we want or how we feel. This is making an assumption.
The biggest assumption we make is that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we do, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge. By making this assumption, we are afraid to be ourselves around others because we think they will judge us, blame us, abuse us and victimize us as we do ourselves. We think we don’t have to say what we want because we assume that others know what we think.
All the drama and sadness in your life is rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally. The whole world of control between humans is based on that.
The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. Making assumptions creates suffering because we believe we are right, then we defend our assumptions and try to make others wrong.
Communicate clearly to avoid misunderstanding, sadness and drama. If we all communicated with impeccability of the word, all of our relationships would change. Not making assumptions will also improve all our relationships.
The fourth and last agreement is: “Always do your best”.
“When you don’t do your best, you are denying yourself the right to be you.” Don Miguel Ruiz.
Doing your best means to take action. To do. You can have many great ideas but without action there will be no manifestation, no results and no reward. Taking action is about living fully and expressing who you are.
Always do your best but don’t overdo!
Your best is changing all the time. Your best will depend on your state of being. Your best will be different every day. Your best will not be the same whether you are happy or upset, healthy or sick. But under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
By doing your best all the time, the habits of misusing your words, taking things personally and making assumptions will become weaker and less frequent with time.
Do your best because you want to, because you love it. Without expecting a reward or because you have to do it, or to please others.
You are alive. It is a gift of God. So take it and enjoy it. You were born with the right to be happy, to love and to share your love. Just be – take a risk and enjoy your life.
“Love in action only produces happiness. Love will give you inner peace. It will change your perception of everything.”
“Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.” Don Miguel Ruiz.
“Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them.” Don Miguel Ruiz.
I trust you will find this interesting enough to grab your own copy of the book and read more about the four agreements. The book is quite short with only 138 pages and it’s very easy to read. I condensed the main ideas in this blog post but don’t limit yourself to it! Don Miguel Ruiz has many more words of wisdom to share with you.
These teachings truly changed the way I thought about things and saw things in life. It has helped me to see things from a different perspective. I know it will do the same for you. I try to keep these lessons in mind and apply these principles every day to communicate more effectively and just be a better person all around. I encourage you to do the same and see how your life can change.